Awkward

I’d have to blame myself for why I’ve never taken the time to meet my neighbour sooner.  We’ve rented this house for over 2 years and even though I give a wave when I drive by, that’s about all I’ve done is drive by. 

But today fate and timing intervened.  I met a girlfriend for coffee near my house and decided to walk to the cafe instead of taking the car 5 blocks – I still don’t know if they’re called blocks in Australia as each house sits on a ‘block’ too.

I know he’s a car buff as he has a huge garage and a race car often sits on a trailer.  I know he likes golf as he can spend hours chipping uphill on his verge and landing on the grass every time despite it being only about 2 meters wide. I know he had a knee (or hip) replaced recently as he was on clutches for a few weeks and has slowly returned to walking around with a slight limp. Another neighbour also told me that his wife had had cancer a few years back and had had a double mastectomy.

So today as I walked back from the cafe, my neighbour’s garage was open and he was puttering about.  We said hi and somehow that led to 20 minutes of delightful conversation where I learnt so much more about him.

He started working as a building contractor when he was 20 and built his first housing complex which he and his mother eventually lived in.  He is ‘70 and a half’. I assume this means 6 mos to his next birthday rather than being 75.  He has raced cars for 30 years and has an old Alfa Romeo race car which he bought and restored almost 10 years ago.  He has a golf handicap of 12. He’s helped one son build a house and he has a daughter living in Hong Kong and another son living in Sydney.  Next year he wants to go on a cruise from San Francisco to Alaska, around to Russia and past Japan and China ending in Singapore.  But I only found these things out after we broke the ice.

It started this way.

When I first said ‘hi’ today, he asked if I’d been playing much golf recently.  I had forgotten we’ve had a brief conversation with me admiring his verge chipping skills and his asking if I played golf.  Not often and quite poorly had been my main remarks that day.  So today I told him I can’t play until October as I have recently had surgery.  I told him that our mutual neighbour had mentioned that his wife had had a double mastectomy - well that’s what I had had as well. 

He was quite excited that we shared this common experience – well me and his wife that is.  Who were my breast surgeon and plastic surgeon?  Well it also seems his wife, Sandra, and I both have the same plastic surgeon and she underwent the same reconstruction 7 years ago after she had breast cancer.

Did you keep your nipples?

He seemed shocked that he actually asked me that.  He apologized for being so forward. 

I learnt so much from him today and that question was like asking if you put butter on your toast.  If you knew my friends, it’s the first thing we talk about when we meet someone new.

I am sure we will talk more frequently from now on and that I will soon be chatting to Sandra about our shared experience and mutual acquaintance in our plastic surgeon.

There was only one thing bothering me about our interaction today.  Nipples?  No, the question didn’t faze me.

I forgot to ask his name.

Awkward

Update - His name is Paul!

Dockers

I live in the land of the Fremantle Dockers.  A couple years ago, they were at the top of their game in the Australian Football League (AFL) - more commonly know as footy.  This year you will more likely hear "I'm glad we became Westcoast Eagles fans" as that team has risen as quickly as the Dockers have fallen in this two team city.

But enough about football.

It hit me like a ton of bricks today.  If you ever find yourself amongst a gathering of American business men in Perth, you will notice a common theme to their office uniform - Dockers. The American chino style pant mass produced by the Levi Strauss company for men who want to avoid wrinkles and need a little Scotch-guard in their fabric to avoid looking sad when they spill beer on themselves.

These guys blend in at work but get a group of American men together for a sundowner or weekend social and Dockers become the overwhelming trend. 

Dockers - the uniform of the American man. Fortunately, they don't sell them in Australia. 

Strine

I have amazingly reached the point where someone’s accent is no longer the first thing I notice about them.  There are so many different accents here, as with any multicultural city, that I often need to do a double take when I hear a North American accent.  But the Aussies have certainly developed a language all their own (Strine) which oscillates between endearing and irritating to an outsider.  As I’ve said before, they have a habit of shortening words and adding ‘ie’ or another vowel to the end which to sounds juvenile to a more conservative Canadian ear.  Just over a year ago I read an article down here criticising Americans for ‘bastardizing the Queen’s English’.  All I can hope though is that my sons leave Australia still speaking real words and full sentences. 

I once heard that the Inuit have many different words for snow as it was such a part of their life.  Australians have also taken this approach to the bathing suit.  So, as it hits bathing suit weather in Canada, you might want to consider breaking out your:

Bathers: general bathing suit term

Boardies: surfing or board shorts

Cozzie: usually a ladies one piece bathing suit

Budgie smuggler: men’s speedo
Togs: bathing suit

You’d think discussions about food would be straight forward.  You should have seen the jaws drop last week when I told some of our dinner companions that we’d just come from a weenie and marshmallow roast with the Canadian Club.  By the way, it was great hanging out with fellow Canadians with lots of jeans, fleece tops, and hockey jerseys around a campfire eating s’mores  (They have to import marshmallows and graham crackers).  So here’s some more food terms I am having to learn and use.

Sausage sizzle: hot dog day

Icy poles: popsicles

Fairy Floss: Cotton Candy

Lollies: most candy except chocolate

Choc: chocolate (why they always say choc and not chocolate is beyond me)

Need work done on your house or by another blue collar professional?  Here we have:

Tradies: any trades person but specifically those in home renovation

Sparkie: Electrician

Brickie: brick layer (there are lots of them as all houses are made of brick)

Panel Beater: collision repair person

And another assortment of words borrowed from the Brits, shortened a-la-Australian or generally accepted expressions:

Arvo: afternoon

Bikkies: biscuits (cookies)

Mackers for Brekkie: McDonald’s (restaurant) for breakfast

For all my criticism of the Aussie language, there are a few words that are easy and fun to use. 

Whinging (whining): oh, quit your whinging!

Heaps (lots): We’re going to have heaps of fun shopping!

Money is not dollars and cents but rather notes and coins.  Kind of makes ‘adding your 2 cents’ to a conversation fall flat or result in blank stares.  For those of you with a business vocabulary, I have also recently found out that while Australians do have ‘elephants in the room’, they do not have ‘sacred cows’ or do ‘warm body hiring’ – well they do but they don’t use those words.

If you didn't catch the video clip in the link above, it's really priceless.  They are commenting on the impact of the gymnastics floor on the family jewels of the male gymnasts at the Syndey 2000 olympics - flat bag, tool bag, crazy date, hello boys...

Cancer came a callin'

In 2005, cancer came knocking on my family's door and it has changed shape ever since then.  My sister called me one fall day - within days of her 38th birthday.  After years of family support for breast cancer causes, my sister now had a stage 3 cancerous lump.  A wife, a daughter, a sister and a mother of 3 - cancer does not discriminate.

Five years on, my sister remains cancer free but forever vigilant.  But the plan has now changed.  As part of her monitoring process, she was involved in a study looking at the link between early breast cancer in women, family histories and genetic mutations.  Her participation was to prove that those with no real history of breast cancer were random cancer patients. They had tested her to see if she carried the breast cancer gene.  Now the results are in: BRCA1 positive.

BRCA genes are the good guys of the cell duplication process.  Just as a photocopy is not as perfect as the original, the BRCA genes' job is to fix any problems with the the DNA of a 'copy' so it is an close to the original cell as possible.  If the BRCA can't fix the DNA, it destroys the problem.  When you have a BRCA mutation, it means that the fixing process is faulty and more abnormal cells slip through the cracks.

Did this gene mutation happen because of something my sister did or didn't do right?  Not in the least.  The BRCA1 and BRCA2 mutations are hereditary and go back many generations.  No one is to blame.  But it seems the gene mutation has come through my mother's side of the family and both my mother and I have tested positive for the mutation as well.

So we all have some decisions to make moving forward.  Women with the mutation have an increased risk of developing ovarian and breast cancers - much higher than the general population.  But the solutions are not simple.  They involve surgery to remove ovaries and breasts.  So with a variety of screening tools, monitoring and surgical interventions, we will take proactive steps to ensure we are survivors.

Cancer may have come a callin' but we will prevail.

The land of the Ute

Life in a new country is full of new sights, sounds and experiences.  But sometimes it's the everyday that is the most interesting.

Let’s get the car thing off the table to begin with.  The El Camino and the Ranchero are alive and well in Australia.  In high school, my friend Chris Fong had an orange Ranchero/El Camino.  I hope he’s moved on to greater things but ‘utes’, as they are called, are the vehicle of choice for trades people and I will assume young blokes who need the cargo bed for surf boards.  The highlight of this craze was my sighting today of a ’59 Chevy El Camino.  (Before anyone asks, the license plate was ’59 Chevy’ and the El Camino silver lettering was on the body – nuff said).

They also have plenty of debate over the use of the  terms SUV and 4WD.  I read an article on the West Australian saying Americans (and I assume they meant Canadians too) are stupid to call  crossover’s an SUV and that every 4WD car should be called a 4WD.  Little do they know that most SUV’s in Canada are driven by Yummy Mummy’s who will never take it off pavement.  I guess they assumed we would use 4WD’s off road – what and ruin a manicure?

Want to get an oil change for your car?  Need to take it to the dealership or a mechanic and for $150 and 2 hours of your time they will change your oil, do a 100 point inspection, check your brakes and wash/vacuum your car (If you’re lucky they will shuttle you to the mall while you wait).  If you just want the oil changed, $99 and the same 2 hours.  If you are looking to build a successful franchise here in Perth, might I suggest a Mr. Lube?  The guy thought I was crazy when I told him you could drive in, stay in your car, get a coffee and paper, and be out in 20 minutes for about $50 in Canada (okay, so Steve still paid about $100 every time at Mr. Lube in Canada because he always accepted the other recommended items).  He said that $50 wouldn’t even cover the cost of the oil and filter.